Thursday, January 24, 2008


I long long long to have some sort of creative ability....writing, music, art.....I even wish I could scrapbook.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Unlocking the Truth I know I'm a little bit crazy. I definitely had a weird upbringing. I guess weird isn't the right word maybe different.....not necessarily in the grand scheme of things but definitely in the town I grew up in.

My parents were divorced when I was 1 and half years old. My sister was 3. My dad was an alcoholic selfish prick, who cheated on my mother. My mother, being the independent very strong woman she is said said 'bye' to him despite her Catholic upbringing. My grandfather was uhappy, very unhappy. My grandmother was unhappy, in a different way. My aunts and uncles had mixed feelings.

So my mother is on her own with two girls in the early eighties. But man oh man did she do an amazing job raising us. I have never been so oblivious to the fact that what my mom, sister and I had was not what everybody had?!?! I was just so happy in our tight nit little part of the world the three of us had. It was perfect....we had tons of fun despite the fact that my mother worked long hours at part time jobs. M (sister)and I subsequently needed daycare in those early years. I went to mom's parents, m went to dad's grandparents. I am convinced this is the reason my sister and I are so different. (TRUE THING) I loved my grandparents.....loved, loved, loved them. My grandpa was key to making me the woman I am today. (TRUE THING) My mother is the most incredible woman I know. She is the biggest key in making me the woman I am today. (TRUE THING)

I met one of my bestest friends due to my parents divorce! Now eventually my mom wanted M and I in daycare that was near our school and with other children. She could finally give her parents a break and that is what she fully intended to do. We started going to daycare at L's house. L was a married mother of 1, who was running a daycare while she had 3 more children. L had a daughter who was the same age as me! T and I met in a crib. We still, to this day, sign our letters BFSTC (best friends since the crib). T and I have a lot of history. T was and still is key in making me the woman I am today. (TRUE THING)

I met my second bestest friend on a tennis court. C and I met through T. T convinced me to join the tennis team with her our freshman year of high school. { *Sidenote I went to a Catholic school with 19 classmates for 9 years. T went to public school for 9 years. We stayed friends through it all. } I didn't know how to play tennis, but my mom and T convinced me that this would be a great opportunity to meet some of the public school girls. I was nervous, nervous.....hell I was downright terrified. I met C on a tennis court and met a girl who unbeknownst to me would be there with me through some of the most amazing experiences I would ever have. C made me laugh....a lot. C and I have the strangest friendship. We both have the weirdest sense of humor ever, it's like we live in a world that's one big inside joke and we're the only ones laughing. C was and still is key in making me the woman I am today. (TRUE THING)

I met my third bestest friend at college. M and I were placed in the same bedroom in a two bedroom on campus apartment. M got my ass through college. She was there for me through the breakdown. M is the one who grounds me. M was and still is key in making me the woman I am today. (TRUE THING)

I met my future husband a year after I graduated college. I was working at 7-11. I was floundering. I found my future in S. S and I are a rollercoaster ride that never seems to stop. He drives me damn crazy sometimes, but I can't imagine a future without him in it. I love him more that anything. S was and still is key in making me the woman I am today. (TRUE THING)

Wow.....I'm liking this. I really think there is something therapeutic about throwing your thoughts out there for everyone to see. Good stuff here, good stuff.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

A New Start

So this was my new years resolution.....I know, I know lame right?

I've decided I need a place to store my thoughts, break them down, reflect, take on outside look, and get some opinions from total strangers. I need a place to throw the crazy schemes, ideas, and thoughts floating around in my head out into this world that we live in. This is the place for that. It may amount to may not. But you never know until you try. So this is me trying.....trying to find me, trying to make sure that the decisions I'm making right now at this minute are really in my best interest.

Thanks for stopping by and I hope you'll be back.